Letting Go

Little Hayden isn’t so little anymore. Just the other day we had to go through his closet and take out all the clothes that didn’t fit. It seems like we just put them in their and now they’re going into storage, waiting for the off chance that our next baby is a boy.

It was a bittersweet moment. I am so happy to see our little man growing up but at the same time it is a little heart breaking too. It is the most immediate example of the Buddhist concept of impermanence that I’ve ever experienced. Folding his clothes and realizing that one day he would be up and gone was hard to do. It brought home the realization that this baby, this wonderful little person that I helped create, isn’t really mine. He’s my baby but he’s not my baby. He’s under my care, he’s a treasure that I’ve been asked to look after. Where my relationship with Kara, my dear wife, is a perpetual growing together, my relationship with my son is going to be one of perpetual letting go.

Of course, I’m a little sad about this but what a miracle it really implies! Kara and I are playing a part in creating a person. What we do now is molding another living being’s life. We get to watch him grow and learn and experience the many wonders this world has to offer. It’s an enormous responsibility and privilege.

It really brings home the fact that there’s no time to waste. We need to give our love and attention to each other here and now. We can’t allow ourselves to become tangled up in trivialities. We might miss the best that life has to offer.