Water Water Everywhere

Kara and I took the baby swimming for the first time a couple of days ago. It was fun, though Kara couldn’t join us. She wasn’t feeling well and still has an ailing knee from an accident two weeks ago. She sat at the poolside and read a book, stopping to occasionally take pictures of our little man in the water.

For his part, Hayden seemed to enjoy most of the experience. There was a minor meltdown at the beginning. We had planned on placing him in a baby float that I would guide around the pool. However, once I placed him in it and let go of his body he began to scream. My guess is that he didn’t like the feeling of instability. I was there and I put my hands out to comfort him but he wouldn’t stop crying until I picked him up and held him.

Interestingly, as soon as I was holding on to him it didn’t matter how close we were. I held him a little ways away and let him float on his back. I turned him over so he was ‘swimming’ on his stomach with his head above the water. He didn’t seem to mind any of this.

He was more sedate than usual, just staring at the world around him. Not at all the way he usually reacts to water. At bath time when we place him in the water it’s like being hit repeatedly by a tidal wave of soapy water. He kicks and splashes in every direction until the floor is covered (though Kara says the bonus is we don’t have to mop any more). By the end of the bath Kara and I are soaked, the cats are afraid to come anywhere within ten feet (splash radius) and the baby usually has an incurable case of the giggles.

All of this from the child who used to scream like he was being eaten alive by dingoes during bath time. Go figure.

By the by, Prairie Home Companion Published a poem I wrote called 'Growing Pains' about our little bundle of joy. You can see it by going to:

www.prairiehome.org

Go to the 'First Person' section and click on the June Archive. It's listed as 'Growing Pains'

Here's a quick link directly to it (though you should check out Prairie Home's site too...by the way if the links don't work just copy and paste them, they'll take you where you need to go):

http://prairiehome.publicradio.org/features/first_person/2007/06/27_jex.shtml

Letting Go

Little Hayden isn’t so little anymore. Just the other day we had to go through his closet and take out all the clothes that didn’t fit. It seems like we just put them in their and now they’re going into storage, waiting for the off chance that our next baby is a boy.

It was a bittersweet moment. I am so happy to see our little man growing up but at the same time it is a little heart breaking too. It is the most immediate example of the Buddhist concept of impermanence that I’ve ever experienced. Folding his clothes and realizing that one day he would be up and gone was hard to do. It brought home the realization that this baby, this wonderful little person that I helped create, isn’t really mine. He’s my baby but he’s not my baby. He’s under my care, he’s a treasure that I’ve been asked to look after. Where my relationship with Kara, my dear wife, is a perpetual growing together, my relationship with my son is going to be one of perpetual letting go.

Of course, I’m a little sad about this but what a miracle it really implies! Kara and I are playing a part in creating a person. What we do now is molding another living being’s life. We get to watch him grow and learn and experience the many wonders this world has to offer. It’s an enormous responsibility and privilege.

It really brings home the fact that there’s no time to waste. We need to give our love and attention to each other here and now. We can’t allow ourselves to become tangled up in trivialities. We might miss the best that life has to offer.